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Author Topic: communication Jane Bond unregistered posted 28 June, 2002 06:19 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do u talk to yr.maid during yr.leisure time? What do u guys normally chit-chat about? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie Angels unregistered posted 29 June, 2002 12:53 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Talk too muck wife will ge jealous & send her back, lucky I speak Malay & my wife don't, ha ha, Heng Ah... Anyway, I always asked about her life in Indo & of course hear some of her country stories & tales. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vanessa unregistered posted 29 June, 2002 09:17 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Normally, I will spend about 1 hour talking to my maid every evening. Talked about her goal, what she wants to do when she goes back & etc. Sometimes when I'm too harsh with her, I will counsel her and let her understand my position & how I feel. I will make sure that she understands why I got angry, why I reacted the way I did, and how she could help me. I will also help her set her goals, like what she wants to do when she returns (she is going back in Oct.), how is she going to make a living there. Initially, when she just came, I would try to understand her culture & background from conversations, and exchange ideas. Now I treat her more like my younger sis rather than a maid, the only thing is that, I can be really fierce at her. Cheers!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyndie Member Member # 40 posted 29 June, 2002 09:54 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All those things mentioned in the earlier posts, I've already completed asking. Lately seems like there's only a few things I ask her: What's inside your head ? Have you ever wondered why you keep forgetting things ? Have you ever asked yourself why you are slower in thinking than me ? I think these kind of chit chat is more productive. As these questions sets her thinking and searching for answers. [This message has been edited by Lyndie (edited 29-06-2002).] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sabrina Member Member # 59 posted 02 July, 2002 09:33 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I used to chat a lot with my maid and learn more about her. However, I am now very reluctant to do it as I have had the experience that it alters the relationship to much and then it is hard to discipline or give orders. I feel bad that I don't talk to my maid much at all but I am scared that she can learn to manipulate me (as my character is a bit too soft). Smarter maids can manipulate the chats to their own advantage and you need to be smart enough to handle this. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sir Member Member # 50 posted 05 July, 2002 04:56 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The only "compulsary talk" we have with our maid is on the pay day itself. My wife and I will highlight the good and bad things she have done over the past 1 mth and advise her how to do better. Also will chit-chat abit to motivate her to work harder and stay with us for the 2 yrs, eg asking how's working so far, is she happy working for us, does she remember what she can do with the money she earned at the end of the 2 yrs etc. Other than that, we also talk to her sometimes when there isn't much thing to do, eg when baby sleep, maid finish her work so wife will also sit down and have some leisure talk with her, or when I cook some local dishes, ask her to help and we talk abt the food in her hometown and the food in SG etc. As long as the time is comfortable for both parties (eg maid finish work, employer free), I think it's ok to communicate to know the maid better, provided the employer must always draw a clear line between employer and maid, otherwise we will have a hard time instructing them to do work later. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 10 March, 2005 04:10 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friends talk really help. Can help them ease their stress & able to stay in good relationship between maid & employer. But this gotten to be done only when they start to adapt you & the place they work. If not, they will certainly climb up to your head & by then it's hard to control them liao. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stress Employer Member Member # 352 posted 20 March, 2005 06:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's what I talked to my maid as well like what Vanessa had written. The purpose of having conversation (two-way) is to get to know my maid and vice versa. I want to have a mutual understanding between us, some respect in our roles, to have better relationship, etc. I believe, having a good communication between two parties (employer-maid) can create a harmonious friendly relationship. Communication in a friendly, counsel, etc tone. I cannot considered screaming/yelling/shouting a good communication. Sabrina has a good point. Too much communication can cause friction in a relationship when the maid starts to feel very comfortable and think the employer is her buddy and has equal roles. I had that experience with my first transfer filipino made. I was very friendly with, talk a lot, really communicate with her a lot, and treat her more like a relative or family member. She overstepped her role. I think the weight of communication should be balanced (not too much, not too little) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 24 March, 2005 09:10 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Sir, I am in total agreement with your treatment of your maid.. Communication is vital in all types of relationships! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 24 March, 2005 10:08 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I agreed with Stress Employer totally. If we get too friendly with the maid, she tends to take advantage of us. The smart ones will also manage to find out our weak points and movements. So everything must strike a balance... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 01 April, 2005 04:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi All, I am a new employer and totally blur with housework & infant care(baby due in few months), I do not know what timetable to set the new maid. Pls email me your timetable for ref. and any other materials eg. contract. I will be most appreciative. Thank you for your help! Linda -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 01 April, 2005 05:45 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi New Hirer! You sound soo desperate. Putting up your request everywhere. Timetable depends on each family's schedule. Since u are going to deliver, I assume you should list out the daily routine work which your new maid must follow e.g. baby's schedule follow by housework, etc. It depends on your priority set for the maid. For example, I would list a simple itemised daily routine schedule for my Indo maid to follow ie what she should do from the moment she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. It is a guideline for her to follow. When she is familiarise with the schedule she can always adjust accordingly her time. Pls make a simple schedule. Hope it helps. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stress Employer Member Member # 352 posted 10 April, 2005 12:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi New Hirer check out my PROPOSED timetable that I posted under Life with maid..then look for a topic about Timetable. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author Topic: let talk about good maid kind unregistered posted 31 October, 2000 10:01 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are bad one, how about good one,will anyone care to compliment their maid . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- adding on unregistered posted 01 November, 2000 11:47 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My first maid was very good, she would greet me very cheerfully every time she saw me coming home. She was very well liked by my family. Also, she did not take grudges even when I scolded her for her mistakes. She was also very diligent in helping around. When she finished her contract and went home, both herself and myself cried heartily, sob! Good maids are from God, please treasure them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- funny unregistered posted 01 November, 2000 07:29 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My current maid is pretty okay too...It's a matter of the carrot & stick approach...somehow or other, this one is pretty good, takes initiative, polite & cheerful... I guess my technique of choosing and training a maid works out well... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- BoardManager Administrator Member # 5 posted 21 November, 2000 11:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A recent feature in the New Paper on 19 November gave credit to a maid called Madam Rosita. She is a 46 year old Filipina who was crowned Supermaid in the Maid of the Year competition. She looked after the wheelchair-bound mother-in-law of her employer for seven years and also saw to the needs of her children. These she does extremely well, yet it is her handling of household chores that drew much compliment. 1. She washes all clothes by hand She only used the employer's washing machine when in a hurry. Otherwise, she sees it as wasting electricity. She also feel washing machines do not do as good a job as cleaning by hand. 2. She chooses to hand mop She says they have all the electrical appliances back home as well. But it is the same there - she does not use them much. Her madam compliments her conscientious habits to save electricity which surpasses even hers - not to mention madam's children who do not have such good habits and even get reminded by the maid on good habits. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- not experienced unregistered posted 21 December, 2000 06:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi funny! I refer to your message abt good maid on 01112000. U said it's a carrot & stick approach, & u have a technique of choosing and training a maid. What is the technique. Pls help cause I've just got an inexperienced 22 yr old filipino maid. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHINMEOW Member Member # 25 posted 16 March, 2001 07:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good maid are scare & we will compliment her if she is really GOOD..!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IVY unregistered posted 09 April, 2001 01:09 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My friends had a very good maid 5 years ago. The maid is very clean & obdient to her. The most important thing is take good care of her baby & she do'not have to worry at all. It seems that she has to transfer her maid to her sister as she can no longer afford to have her cos' of $$$ problem. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Survivor unregistered posted 10 April, 2001 03:33 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Praise to u Jean: Although my maid has been with me 4 a short period of time of 5 months, I am very grateful n deeply touched by the fact that she will go extra miles for the sake of the whole family in time of crisis. My world came apart when the doctor told me the most hated words: "Breast cancer n a mastectomy n a chemotherapy has to be arranged for at the soonest." Can u imagine that the fear n terror of losing my life when my 2 lovely sons are only of 4 years n the other at 4 months?? I cried almost everyday n was unable to accept the initial shocked n reality. Then 1 day out of the blue my maid approached me n made an offer that she is willing to forego her offdays to help look after my 2 boys. She is supposed to go on her off days next month n that means losing her offdays of at least the next 8 months. She told me those offdays were not important to her although she has a sister working here n would love to meet up. What is more important is that I go for treatment n don't worry about the kids, parents n etc.... She constantly reminded me that I am not alone n gives me her fullest support to go for the operation at the soonest. I wouldn't say more when one nite,I heard her praying on her rosary for my speedy recovery. She cried when the day for the op came, she gave me a set of rosary n again reminded me to be brave n strong. She assured me that she will take good care of the family n that included my parents who are not staying with me. What can I say?? Those words of encouragement! I felt so comforted n I know my kids are in good hands. I praised the Lord for sending such a wonderful helper to me. Since then, she has became a important part in our family n we cherish her a lot. I am back home now n is recuperating n I just can't help it but to write in to say my appreciation. Imagine some other maids would have simply kept quiet n walk away. She is Venjean P Magno from Ilocos Norte n I am very proud to have her! Praise n Thanks to u Jean! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- min unregistered posted 30 April, 2001 11:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by IVY: My friends had a very good maid 5 years ago. The maid is very clean & obdient to her. The most important thing is take good care of her baby & she do'not have to worry at all. It seems that she has to transfer her maid to her sister as she can no longer afford to have her cos' of $$$ problem. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IF YOUR FRIEND HASN'T TRANSFER HER MAID. I AM LOOKING FOR 1 LIKE THAT. WOULD BE GLAD TO KNOW MORE. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- IVY unregistered posted 03 May, 2001 09:12 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Min, My friend has transferred her maid to her sister. Sorry, unable to help u. This maid also wanna work for my friend's sister the reason she gives is she can still get to see my friend. Sometimes I find it is not easy to have such a good maid with u.I have a maid at home. She is quite stubborn at times in regards to certain things. I'm still monitoring her & she is with me for 3 mths only. I may have to have her trasnfered. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyndie Member Member # 40 posted 17 October, 2001 08:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lousy maids are also sometimes self-created. Sounds fair enuff ? See it this way, some employers are also quite terrible to their maids, so likewise the maids show their rebellion. Indeed, good maids are gifts from heaven. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- noramanda unregistered posted 22 January, 2002 09:16 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Most definitely kind, I think a good maid is really hard to find but mine is really good. She is only 19 but she is capable to look after my 5 kids, does the household chores, is a good cook and she takes the initiative to repair things and do things without even being told and still respect me and my husband. It's hard and we really treasure her and treats her like one of our children. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sabrina Member Member # 59 posted 01 July, 2002 09:57 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like a Filipina maid in that they are more intelligent but I am so scared. So many people tell me their Filipina is so good to the child, helps with the homework etc., but other people see her being rough with the child. I have seen this. And the maid carries a reading book with her so that people think she is helping the child read but she is not. They can also blackmail the child into not telling the mother on them etc. I don't like having Indonesians because their English is so bad, but I have seen so many Filipinas who are so praised by their employers but actually they are just very shrewd at making a good impression on the employer. I have seen this MANY times. Many I am wrong, but in my experience many Filipinas are best skilled at bluffing. Sabrina -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyndie Member Member # 40 posted 01 July, 2002 01:34 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi sabrina, Personally, I don't think Indons can be that bad in English. The young ones,especially are quite fast learner if you give them the chance. No doubt Filipinas are better with English. My uncle's Indon maid is quite young. She's great with the kids, spoke no English when she came. But now, she's able to speak both English and Chinese very well. She even teach the children mathematics, took them dictation and spelling in both languages and do their arts and crafts etc. I have personally accessed her in her language skills and it's really good. She has renewed her contract for another 2 years. My current Indon maid is also another fast learner in English and dialect. Thus, it's up to your assessment as you're also right that Filipinas speak better English. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sir Member Member # 50 posted 05 July, 2002 04:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Lyndie: My uncle's Indon maid is quite young. She's great with the kids, spoke no English when she came. But now, she's able to speak both English and Chinese very well. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm kinda surprised when I heard my maid (21 y/o, 2 mth in SG) humming chinese music to my baby. When asked where she learned it, she said some friends who used to work as a maid in TW taught her. She is only here for 2 mths but already learned quite alot of basic hokkien and chinese words. Sometimes she can even say a full chinese sentense to my baby. Our agt once told us young indo maid can pick up language quite fast, esp if there is an infant at home (where everyone in the family will talk to the infant and try to teach her how to talk). Perhaps you can try looking for those young maid with min. college lvl? I think they shld have no problem communicating in simple english. [This message has been edited by Sir (edited 08-07-2002).] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyndie Member Member # 40 posted 08 July, 2002 11:19 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be careful some maids worked elsewhere before. It's true younger maids catch on things faster and that's really a plus ! But my friend got a Filipina maid. She's NEW to Singapore, stated that she has NOT worked out of her country before. And the agent was an $888 that provides video selection of maids. Turned out after so many things that happened, my friend found out that her new maid of less than 2 months KNOWS Cantonese !!! And my friend suspected she worked in HK before. After further clarification with the agency, the agency finally revealed that the maid worked in HK for 1+ year and the employer did not want her. So the maid decided to come to SG to try. Anyway, in less than 2 months, the maid was sent to the agent for transfer due to dishonest behaviour. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 10 March, 2005 04:01 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to take this opporunity to thank to my 1st maid _ Romlah Sabar. She is a good helper for the 2 years with me. She looked after my 1st girl from her age of 2 months to 2years old. Romlah is capable enough. She did everything for me & try not to burden me. Everyday, even if she is not feeling well. She still worked. She never complained to me about the workload & never saw her sleeping in the afternoon. I still remember the days when she was still here. Frankly speaking, I miss her. I dreamt of her many times coming back to work for me. But now, she is nowhere. I don't know where is she now. But I hope she can at least give me a call. She loves my daughter. Treat her like her own. Romlah was 21 years old when she just came. Now should be 24 years old liao. If anyone happens to get her as helper, pls do treasure her. Maybe you can ask her or reveal to her abit of my topic on her. And if happens to be her, romlah sabar, pls get her to email me. Ha! Dreaming woman! Lastly, I do appreciate her very much. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 21 April, 2005 11:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Generally, most of my maids are ok. Except two occasions where i've to sent both maids back to their home town after serving me for only nine months. 1) one of them was constantly hungry. always telling me - 'Mdm, i'm hungry'. She ate 5 -6 slices of bread and milo for breakast and two hours later,said that she wass hungry. So, i asked her to go for medical check up but she refused!! She was also too small build and finally, i told her to go back before she fainted in my house!! Imagine, eating so much and yet, she didnt seem to put on weight. I suspected she had diabetic problem. 2) the second maid, used the 'pretty hot water' to pour onto my son's head while bathing him. My son screamed came running out of bath room and without hesitation, i sent her back to her HOME TOWN. Dont worry, she has been sent home and not transferred!This happened in year 1999. The rest of them, are pretty ok. I do sometimes, think over it that, i was quite fussy while babies are concerned. So, i did constantly yell at them when i found that they didnt not take care of the babies well. But now, my kids are quite grown up, and me, thru the years of experience, have learnt to be more patient and more tolerant with maids. AFterall, they leave their home town and come here to work just for money, with hope of sending their children for more education or give their family a better living condition. To err is human! We all learnt thru mistakes (not only the miads, but myself too). I yelled at them for a little mistake they made, and they had to put up with it just for the sick of $$$. I want to make use of this message board to say "My apologies". By doing this, it doesnt mean that I can now go easy with them. They still have to respect me and follow strictly all the rules and regulations setforth etc etc.......... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- unregistered posted 21 April, 2005 10:10 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Views, I hve a friend her maid is also always eating always saying she is HUNGRY!Well, but she is different cos' she steals food! She has her own cupboard of Food but she never touches them,Yet she can take my friend Birdnest,cookies....Etc.OF course this maid was SENT HOMETOWN...Guess WAt my friend say? WANT TO EAT NONSTOP